12 replies to this topic

[thumper]

Bad Weather Day ?

On Saturday morning I got up early. I put on my long johns. I dressed
quietly. I got my lunch made, grabbed my kit bag and went to the garage to hook up the boat to the 4x4 and down the driveway I went.

Coming out of the garage rain is pouring down; it is like a torrential
downpour. There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing 50 mph.

Minutes later, I returned to the garage. I came back into the house and
turned the TV to the weather channel. I find there's a sudden change and
it's going to be bad weather all day long, so I put the boat back in the
garage, quietly, went back upstairs, undressed and slipped back into bed.

There I cuddled up to my girlfriend's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

To which she sleepily replies, "Can you believe my stupid boyfriend is out
boating in this?"

[thumper]

Dead ahead, through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light on a collision course with his ship.
He sends a signal: "Change your course ten degrees east."
"Change yours ten degrees west," comes the reply.
The captain responds, "I'm a United States Navy captain! Change your course, sir!"
"I'm a seaman second class," the next message reads. "Change your course, sir."
The captain is furious. "I'm a battleship! I'm not changing course!"
"I'm a lighthouse. Your call."




One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

[tiggerman]

Thanks thumps!!!  I needed that!

[Kevin Leclair]

Those are great!  

[thumper]

sorry girls - but they are quite amusing - in a man kinda way!!!!

Reasons Why Boats Are Better Than Women/men - you choose

Boats only need their fluids changed every year.
Boats curves never sag.
Boats last longer.
Girls can ride your boat with you.
You can ride a Boat any time of the month.
Boats don't have parents.
Boats don't whine unless something is really wrong.
You can share your Boat with your friends.
Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have ridden.
When riding, you and your Boat both arrive at the same time.
Boats don't care about how many other Boats you have.
Boats don't mind if you look at other Boats, or if you buy Boating magazines.
You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Boat.
If you say bad things to your Boat, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.
You can ride a Boat as long as you want and it won't get sore.
Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Boat after you dump it.
Boats always feel like going for a ride.
Boats don't insult you if you are a bad boater.
Boats don't care if you are late.
You don't have to take a shower before riding your Boat.
It's always ok to use tie downs on your Boats.
If your Boat doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.

[gofast]

A true funny . From my younger days in the COAST GUARD. We always tried to get as much information during a distress call as possible , thus the following:   Boat: Coast Guard this is the fishing vessel BILLY BOB, we need help. CG: what is the nature of your distress ? BB: we are on fire 10 miles off miami beach . CG: How many souls on board? BB: Two , me and my brother. CG: Description of boat  BB:Green and white w/white top.CG: How long is your  boat? BB : 22ft CG: Inboard or outboard? BB : Inboard CG:Are you green w/white trim or white /green trim? BB : Damn it Coast Guard just get  out here ,we're easy to spot ....WE are the only boat on fire !!!!!

[tiggerman]

Santa was just spotted over West Central Alabama..... and no, that ain't my crib.....

Attached Files

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[Kevin Leclair]

Too funny!  

[tda3]

Two cannibals are eating a Clown when one turns to the other and says,

"Does this taste funny to you?"

LMFAO      

Tom

[gofast]

Two good ole boys are anchored side by side fishing in a no fish zone. One spots the game and fish man coming at them . He procedes to pull anchor and start eng . The second guy does the same and yells over that it's going to be tough to outrun the man . Don't have to is the reply,,, all i got to do is outrun you.

[dexterdoo]

man number one  is at work, and wants to go home.    Waiting at home is a masked man, so man number one  doesn't want to go home, what does man number one do for a living?

answer: Baseball Player,  5yr old brought that home from school

[Watercarmel]

thumper, on 20 December 2005 - 06:32 AM, said:

Bad Weather Day ?

On Saturday morning I got up early. I put on my long johns. I dressed
quietly. I got my lunch made, grabbed my kit bag and went to the garage to hook up the boat to the 4x4 and down the driveway I went.

Coming out of the garage rain is pouring down; it is like a torrential
downpour. There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing 50 mph.

Minutes later, I returned to the garage. I came back into the house and
turned the TV to the weather channel. I find there's a sudden change and
it's going to be bad weather all day long, so I put the boat back in the
garage, quietly, went back upstairs, undressed and slipped back into bed.

There I cuddled up to my girlfriend's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

To which she sleepily replies, "Can you believe my stupid boyfriend is out
boating in this?"

Hoping to god this isn't true! But thanks for the laugh, even if it is!  

[logans runner]

I really need some advice on a serious problem. I have suspected for sometime now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to see when she comes home but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, last night about midnight I hid in the shop behind the SeaDoo. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse. Then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment crouched behind the Sea Doo, that I noticed a hairline crack in the left side jet bracket. Is this something I can weld or do I need to replace it?